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Its beein some time since I have written. I have been so busy and have not had a comp. I jumping back on the wagon and getting my shit together! I ahve had some eggs and meat for breakfast and got rid of it quickly. I havent lost anymore weight and feel like a failure at life. I'm just a failure at this bullshit. Should be moving into the new house quickly. I left my comp. up and a nosey friend saw my sight and is now worried about me! Fuck her, just cuz I dont wanna be fat! She doesnt understand shit. Then my grandmother got concerned cuz she heard the fucking water going she doesnt even have a clue what I was doing at all. She wishes she did she thinks I was in there  throwing up and I wasn't which is funny cuz the times I am she doesnt fuckin know. I have binged alot this week its been super stressful with work and this fuckin guy that can't seem to figure out if he wants to be with me or not. I am too fucking embarrassed so even strip for him because I'm so fuckin FAT!!!! I HATE MY BODY! Its gotten worse this last week. I haven't lost shit and I'm so sick of it. I dont know what to fucking do. Time to excerise and fucking get serious! ABC CAMP Here I fuckn come!

Anorexia and Bulemia

Can't sleep. . .

Posted on 2009.01.05 at 19:02
I can't sleep its been crazy. Feeling like I'm coming off coke. My nerves are shot still haven't eaten anything. . . But was super tempted all I wanted was some f-ing chocolate today. I haven't lost much more weight and I'm starting to loose faith. I worked out for three hours yesterday going to do four today. I also walked a mile.

Anorexia and Bulemia

Day Six, shaky and sleep deprived. . .

Posted on 2009.01.04 at 11:37
Today I had to be to work at four a.m. After spending all night cleaning my house. I honestly can't believe my best friend and room mate would move out and leave the f- cking house this dirty. No cleaning didn't do her dishes. She's a pig. Then she has the nerve to tell me I've lost weight. WTF! She being two hundred and twenty five pounds herself. Maybe she should go on a fast for a year. She says oh your not going to look healthy when we can see your bones. I wanted to say yeah I guess healthy these days is obeisity. F HER! This is day six and I've lost five pounds. All I have done is drink water and tea! Why have I not lost more weight. I'm so frustrated. . . I could scream! I need to speed the process up. I need to work out more. I don't wanna be this nasty "healthy" pig! I think I'm going to cry.

Anorexia and Bulemia

OMG! Does anyone understand the word NO!

Posted on 2009.01.02 at 15:26
Ok so four day of my fast. . . Its actually getting easier day by day! Yeah! Haven't jumped on a scale cuz I haven't been home. May just wait until a week goes by. Suprisingly I woke up with a ton of energy. But the desire to scarf down a Big Mac is stronger today then before. My family is driving me nuts told them I didn't feel well, in order to avoid going out to eat and they are like well eating something may help, have you tried water and bread, maybe just have. . . Damn it! Can you take no for an answer!

Anorexia and Bulemia

Day 3 Of ABC!

Posted on 2009.01.01 at 20:00
Tags:
Today has been much easier, But I kinda cheated I've had 3 cups of Apple Cider, 1 cup of Hot Cocoa. So I probably have my calories over already! I can wait to get home and not have all these haters looking over my shoulder!! I only had like 50 Cals yesterday and 0 the day before. I guess thats not too bad! So How much weight are u suppose to drop on the ABC anyways? How soon before you start seeing results??? I usually fast for days eat fast for more! I purge when I eat anythings and keep it down its amazing how something that is here for me to live, makes me feel so sick and wrong when I do it! FUCK FOOD! It goes straight to my hips talk about betrayel. Even one bite, makes hate the disgusting PIG that I am. I cant believe I let myselp go!!! Good luck girls!! XOXO LOVES~


Anorexia and Bulemia

New Years Eve and Also Day 2!

Posted on 2008.12.31 at 20:43
Current Location: My Best Friends House
Current Mood: anxiousanxious
Current Music: Rock Band!!!!
Tags:
Its Day 2, I have been strong but I found a few things out that I wanted to share, more for ThinSpiration. After the first 3 days of not eating Digestion STOPS! The body then shift over to ketosis A.K.A.: Burning FAT! At this point the body scours itself for dead and diseased tissue and fat to live on. Some can go easily on water alone. Some have even lived as long as 100 days. Weight loss is usually between 1-5 pounds a day! Depending on how fat you are and NO, your body does not start to eat muscle right away. It eats away all your fat first!! YEAH! Which is what we are all looking for! SO wish you all the best, And remember, three days! Thats it and your gonna start seeing results. HOLD out girls! Think THIN and BEAUTIFUL! Loves XOXOXO

Anorexia and Bulemia

Sometimes It Takes A Picture. . .

Posted on 2008.12.30 at 23:03
Current Location: Home
Current Mood: FAT!!
Current Music: Nada, just my daughter snoring!
Tags:

 
What The hell! I hate my life. . .  I stumbled across some pictures from last year. My ex Boyfriend is in town and I wanted to dig them up. I dont know how I got so fat so quickly. Being anorexic for 12 years and now switching to Mia and, I found very comforting still gained 27 pounds! WTF I am morally sick, at how FAT and NASTY I look. No wonder Ive been single this intire F**KING time.
So today was my first day of fasting, Its been a tough one. I've been hungry, although I love knowing that hunger is there its the first step to being back where I want to be again. I keep eyeing these candy apples  my grandmother made and am fighting these demons not to shove that poison into my body! One day down only 4 glasses of water and 2 diet cokes. I CAN DO THIS AND I WILL NOT BE FAT, AGAIN!